Glenn Beck has not
called the 1990 Truth Hotline for:
57 days 8 hours 7 minutes
21 seconds
The Anti-Red Red Phone
At the beginning of September
2009 questions
were raised about whether or not TV and radio personality Glenn Beck
was involved in the brutal rape and murder of a young girl in 1990. We do not know if this is true.
There are also rumors
about Glenn being involved in bestiality
that he will not answer questions about.
We do know that in 1990
Glenn had recently been fired from a job in
Texas, and that he was a alcoholic and cocaine addict. We also know
that in 1990 many girls were brutally raped and murdered.
We know this telephone hotline
has
been available 24 hours a day since September 1st 2009, and so far
Glenn has not phoned to refute any of the allegations, or provide
answers to the questions that have been raised.
We also know that Glenn has carrier pigeons, and he has not sent us a
message denying the accusations.
According to the logic
presented by Glenn on
his television show, this can only mean the
allegations are true.
Glenn Beck's six degrees of separation
principle
Glenn Beck has talked about his desire
to murder Michael
Moore, 'joked' about his murder of
the speaker of the house, said 'I
want to kill Charlie Rangel
with a shovel', claimed that "every night I get down on my knees and
pray that Dennis Kucinich will burst into
flames", and said "If it wasn't
for my good wife, all
of my neighbors would be dead."
He has also spouted many
other threatening and harsh words
about rape and murder. Glenn's
own words seem to make him only one degree from rape and murder, and
following Beckian logic, it makes him a raping murderer.
To be fair to Glenn, his own rules of
the game imply connections
through
people to show proof, so here is one example of Glenn Beck four degrees
from a raping murderer. Which, according to Beck's own rules, makes him
a raping murderer. Most likely it was in 1990. If this is not true,
then Beck obviously would have picked up the telephone.
This has been a very expensive investigation to take on so we
have recently needed to start carrying advertisements. Unfortunately,
all the gold sales companies, hearing-aid suppliers, tax-cheat
hucksters, penis-pills, and FOX TV shows were advertising on Glenn
Beck's program, so we had to look elsewhere for sponsorship, and seeing
as there is no alcohol ad's on his show, this seemed perfect.
This is
a satire and a parody of Glenn Beck and his presentation style released
under a creative commons attribution non-commercial share-alike
license. Any
copyright images are
used under fair-use policy.
